Awwwww......

Now that I got the fangirl outta my system I can give this a thorough critique. Hopefully it won't be too mean or harsh, sorry!! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/f/f…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Sad)"/>
Lemme divi this up into categories to organize it, and to take up words so I can ignore the stupid limit / minimum thing.

Anatomy
Hykian's Overall, I think the anatomy of him is pretty good! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> I do like his pose, it makes him look curious and awkwardly so, which fits his character, given his background. His hands seem to be too small, though. It can be hard to draw hands big in fear of making them too big, at first especially. His left hand (the one on our right that's on the ground) looks a bit awkward. Remember the shape of the hand, and how the fingers bend at the joints and stuff.
The other arm (his right, the one on our left) seems to bend a little awkwardly. Though that might be the sleeve making it look awkward, which can happen in real life, so don't worry too much about it! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> I think if you added more 'flesh' the the arm and made the outline on the right side curve toward the right a little more to make it look 'fleshier' it might help out a little?
The neck looks a little thick, I think, and the shoulders too narrow. That might be because of how he has his shoulders bent upward a bit, but...<img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Shrug"/> I dunno! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/>
I like how you kept the male anatomy in mind by making the chest look like the 'thickest' part of the torso without making them look like boobs. I also like how he still looks fairly young, and not too old (that would be creepy if he was an old man playing with a strange girl in a field of flowers...just saying! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/r/r…" width="29" height="27" alt="" title="rofl"/>) like...you kept the balance pretty well, I think! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

M'rin
Her right side is too thin. If you moved the outline toward the right more, it would work better, I think! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> Her arm looks kinda short, but that might be because her arm is extending away from us. If that's the case, maybe just 'invert' the direction of her sleeve so we can't see into it?
On her left side, her back might be outlined too far up? Maybe you can curve it a little, so the top of it bends toward the right?
Her legs/knees look a little awkward to me too, sorry! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> But it is a difficult pose at a different/unusual angle, so kudos to you for drawing out of your comfort zone! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> Maybe if you made her knees kinda go further left, if that makes sense?
Maybe add details to her feet/toes...I know you hate feet, though! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/> _{Can't blame you...they're kinda....ugly looking. Especially after they get wet and they're all pale and wrinkly and stinky....ew! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/>}
Overall, though, you did manage to draw a difficult pose in a different angle pretty well! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>
Like I said about Hykian, I like how you made the hips the 'thickest' part of M'rin's female body, which is where females are generally the widest (according to art books, anyway). But, again, you didn't make her look too old! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> You kept the balance pretty well, and they both look like they're preteens, or are just entering puberty.

I can see your anatomy and poses are overall improving! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> I can see that you're taking more risks, and you're making your characters look less stiff and more .... not-stiff! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/d/d…" width="21" height="15" alt="" title="I am a dummy!"/> Here's a little tip; try to avoid straight lines when drawing arms/legs/torsos/faces/heads/etc. If you make your lines 'bent' for the body parts, it will make your people look more relaxed and 'real' ... ishtical? <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/>

Shading
The shading is pretty good! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> But I'm not sure where the light source is, and it can be a little inconsistent...sorry! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> I do like how you cel-shade, though! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> It's harder for me than the blendy shading! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> If you want to add more depth to your shading, I suggest making a second shading layer and shading the darker areas and playing with the opacity levels thingy. Just play around with it! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/>

Background
First thing I noticed about this picture, actually! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> Was that the background was different than the ones you usually make. I like how you used the background to help us to focus on the characters. I also like how the back-background isn't just a solid color, but is ... a light (I don't know how else to describe it! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/> ). I like how it's green, and matches, yet showcases the patch of grass they're occupying.

Other Things/Details
I like the detail you put into Hykian's coat, with the buttons! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> They don't really match up, but its uneven too, so they're probably not supposed to! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/>
I also really like Hykian's color scheme to be honest! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="La la la la"/> I like how you didn't just pick one color and color him with various shades and hues of said color. I like how you picked the different kinds of blues, and how they don't completely 'clash' (haha, shut up, I know! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/r/r…" width="29" height="27" alt="" title="rofl"/>) with the browns. They go together pretty well, I think, and are pleasing to the eyes! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>
Aww...and you drew his shoelaces! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/> Good details! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

The Ratings
Vision I gave it 4.5/5 because its a good idea (I think that's what they meant by "vision"), and its pleasing to my vision! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/>
Originality I would have given you 5/5, but since M'rin isn't your original character....I had to dock you a star! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/r/r…" width="29" height="27" alt="" title="rofl"/> Yep. Just to be "like that". <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/e/t…" alt="" title="teheplz"/>
Technique I gave you a 4/5 because its good, and the outlines are smooth for the most part, and I don't see any colors that are outside the lines! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> The shading could have been better, though. But at least you didn't use the Burn too! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> Which can really ruin a picture if it's misused! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> But...yeah! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/x/x…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title="XD"/>
Impact I gave it a full 5/5 because it made me smile a big smile when I first saw it, and it made me laugh and squeal with joy! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/d/d…" width="29" height="21" alt="" title="Dance!"/> And I was having a notsogreat day, so thank you for that! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/>

Ending
Well, overall its a great picture! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Big Grin)"/> I hope I'm not being too much of a bitch by critiquing a gift! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> But you requested, and I thought that the greatest gift artist A could give to artist B is a nice in depth critique. So....here ya go! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/a/a…" width="19" height="19" alt="" title="Sweating a little..."/> I'm so sorry if its too harsh, or anything! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/f/f…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Sad)"/>

In all, its 1,095 words. YES!! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w…" width="23" height="23" alt="" title="w00t!"/>